My New ... Totally

My new humble home office. Totally

2011-10-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

Stuff, stuff and more stuff, and the LDS church is not far away ... doesn't get better than that!

Click here.

My new, er, pool . Totally.

2011-08-03T16:46:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of soft padded surfaces and hard stone floors in this house. Leeetle schizo ...

Click here.

My new gallery of horrors. Totally

2011-07-09T18:54:00.000-07:00

My head hurts.

Click here.

My new row of naked white guys. Totally.

2011-05-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

Uh, well, um ... huh. I got nuthin'.

Click here.

My new pointy-headed busybodies. Totally.

2011-05-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

And the next thing you know, they'll decide that large garages are unsightly, and everyone will have to engage car services (only black limos, no stretch, well-polished, drivers in uniforms, WITH hats) ...

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My noo shooz/pet ... totally

2011-04-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

Lends a whole new meaning to the phrase "on little cat feet" ...

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My new favorite dress. Totally.

2011-04-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

At least I'd get the value out of those fancy panties!

Click here.

My new half-million-dollar flophouse. Totally.

2011-01-28T15:13:00.001-08:00

Now that's what I call a fixer-upper. Does all the trash come in the price?

Click here.

My new ridonkulous giant hand house. Totally.

2011-01-25T15:11:00.000-08:00

I don't think it's real. I hope it's not real.

Click here.

My new half-bath. Totally.

2011-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

I. Don't. Even. Want. To. Know.

Click here.

My new weekend place. Totally.

2010-12-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

The French Chateau-inspired Batcheller Mansion (with a minaret) is also a functioning bed-and-breakfast, so I can have all my friends over.

Cheap at twice the price!

Click here.

My new house made entirely of hard surfaces. Totally.

2010-11-30T17:25:00.000-08:00

I'll never understand people who want to live in houses that look less comfortable than a tire-store waiting room (and have the same concrete floor).

Click here.

My new ticky-tacky designer house. Totally.

2010-10-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

OMG. Where is the crew of "Tacky House" when you need them? Double points off if those are indeed framed Mao prints in the dining room.

Click here.

My new multimillion-dollar heap of not much. Totally.

2010-09-17T12:32:00.000-07:00

Has a pile of junk ever cost this much? Only in Bel-Air.

Click here ...

My old-fashioned new house that can be seen from space. Totally.

2010-08-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'd repaint the exterior (maybe shades of gray with plum accents) and change the wallpaper, but I'm fairly fond of the polished wood floors. And the living room floral window treatments and tapestries have GOT TO GO. I'd go more of a light and bright interior, as if we were by the sea in Cape May ...

Click here.

My new pyramid. Totally.

2010-08-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

Ooooohhhhhmmmmm...

Click here.

My new little house on a hill overlooking the water. Totally.

2010-07-18T22:03:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry -- they had me at "3-stop elevator."

Click here for the ... video!

My new beach shack. Totally.

2010-07-14T17:35:00.001-07:00

Just a little place to kick back on the weekends and watch the surf.

Click here.

My new unpretentious little pile in the Hamptons. Totally.

2010-07-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

The only problem with a place with THIS many bedrooms -- how do you keep the sketchy relations from visiting?

Click here.

My new Craftsman. Totally.

2010-06-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

No, really. I mean it this time. Totally. But can we move it just a leeetle closer to those cool ocean breezes?

Click here.

My new shoes (omg, omg, OMG!!!!!). Ahem ... Totally.

2010-05-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

Some people are seee-yick.

Click here if you dare.

My new shoes (for when my ankles don't swell). Totally.

2010-04-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

Not for certain times of the month or when one has to sit or stand for a long time, but otherwise, perfect!

Click here.

My new opportunity not to speak ill of the dead. Totally.

2010-04-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

La la la la ... not saying anything about Alexander McQueen's shoes (yes, those are shoes) and handbags ... la la la la ...

Click here.

My new tiki bar. Totally.

2010-04-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

Because who doesn't need a tiki bar?

Click here.

My new chairs I would totally fall out of. Totally.

2010-04-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

Nice to look at, ridonkulous to sit in. Real people need arms!

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My new lift. Totally.

2010-04-06T17:19:00.001-07:00

The only thing better about unblockable ocean views is not having to climb stairs to get to them. Hallelujah!

Click here.

My new pyramid. Totally.

2010-03-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

Chill like an Egyptian ... or a tasteless show-off. Your call.

Click here.

My new beach shack. Totally.

2010-03-12T19:18:00.001-08:00

What, you don't have shacks like this?

Click here.

My new tree house. Totally.

2010-03-11T16:55:00.001-08:00

I can't decide whether I like it or whether it's just a nicely furnished fish tank. Little bummed that it's not actually a tree house, though ...

Click here .

My new lots of battery-operated friends. Totally.

2010-02-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

Rock-star hamsters, hedgehogs, skunks, chipmunks, squirrels, bunnies and raccoons, oh, my! If I couldn't talk somebody into buying me a regular Zhu Zhu hamster, NOW what do I do?

Click here.

(PS: The only thing weirder than being an adult who wants a battery-operated hamster is buying one for yourself. So there. Don't judge me.)

My new tails. Totally.

2010-02-15T16:42:00.001-08:00

Multiple raccoon tails are one thing, but attached to a plaid man-dress? Honestly, they look more like giant woolly bear caterpillars.

Ewww.

Click here.

My new relatively cheap Frank Lloyd Wright fortress. Totally.

2010-02-05T18:37:00.001-08:00

It's historic. It's designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. It looks like you could hold off invaders with a couple of buckets of hot oil and a squad of archers. Who wouldn't want a piece of that?

Click here.

My new $2,000 trash bags. Totally.

2010-02-04T13:00:00.000-08:00

So, what's to stop me from taking a Hefty bag, a stencil and going to town?

Click here.

My new reason to watch C-SPAN. Totally.

2010-02-03T14:00:00.001-08:00

Scott Brown will be sworn in as the new senator from Massachusetts on Thursday, Feb. 4. And yeah, he was a centerfold. Pity C-SPAN isn't in HD.

They don't call him Hottie McAwesome for nothing.

My new reason to let them eat cake. Totally.

2010-02-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

Marie Antoinette would take one look at this and fall end over crinoline. Dang.

Click here.

My new reason to be a Winter Olympian. Totally.

2010-02-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it would take years of sacrifice and work and toil and blood and sweat and tears, but on the upside, I would get to wear cool Ralph Lauren gear, inspired by the 1932 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid.

Click here.

I went to Lake Placid just before the 1980 Winter Olympics, and all I got was mascot Roni the Raccoon.

My new reason to watch 'Dirty Jobs.' Totally.

2010-01-22T21:05:00.000-08:00

Sure, the guys that Mike Rowe works with on Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs" are often grimy, sweaty and dusty, and usually sport plaid, denim, grubby T-shirts, hazmat suits and steel-toed workboots, but at least I know what gender they are.

And they won't borrow grandma's corset.

Click here to see some, er, guys who already have.

My new tuxedo spaceman. Totally.

2010-01-20T18:01:00.001-08:00

That's not even mentioning the leather swizzle stick and the middle dude with the silly hat and lemon-meringue jacket. I officially give up. Real men, three names: Dockers, Carhartt, LL. Bean. These are your new best friends.

Click here.

My new boyfriends. Totally. (Not)

2010-01-20T10:39:00.001-08:00

Do these designers want to end the human race? No sensible woman would propagate with these men.

Click here.

My new roofy-blocky house-y thing. Totally.

2010-01-19T17:24:00.000-08:00

At least the price has come down -- it's cheaper than some Culver City condos. But it's as-is, and there are no interior pictures. Maybe there's no interior. Maybe the old owners took it. I've seen it happen.

Click here.

My new reason why men will stay single. Totally.

2010-01-19T17:17:00.000-08:00

Really, would any woman go near these guys? Especially the dude on the end with the leather armor -- give him a horse and a sword and he could conquer the sporting-goods department.

Gack.

Click here.

My new purple passion pit. Totally.

2010-01-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

The Grape Ape could have such monkeyshines!

Click here ...

My new cornucopia of crazy. Totally.

2009-12-30T14:58:00.001-08:00

Thank you, Curbed LA, for reminding me why I'm a renter.

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My new (cheaper!) multimillion-dollar lifeguard shacks. Totally.

2009-12-28T12:50:00.000-08:00

No, it's a house. Really. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Click here.

My new, uh, soap? Totally.

2009-12-18T08:34:00.001-08:00

OK, close one eye, take a quick glance and what do these look like?

Three guesses, first two (and the article's suggestion of "little rocks") don't count.

Click here.

My new throne room. Totally.

2009-12-16T08:40:00.000-08:00

Everyone wants a breath of fresh air after, ahem, tending to business, but this is taking it to an extreme.

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My new falling-down building. Totally.

2009-12-04T19:38:00.000-08:00

At least, if the Big One hits the Vegas, this building will already be halfway there.

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My new WTF is it anyway? Totally.

2009-12-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

Uh, uh, yeah. That's all I got to say on this.

Click here.

My new Sunday paper. Totally.

2009-11-20T16:05:00.000-08:00

Now, THAT's news you can use.

Click here.

My new Gizmo-head chastity skirt. Totally.

2009-11-16T11:26:00.000-08:00

Yeah, nobody's coming near her with THAT there.

Click here.

My new duck feet. Totally.

2009-11-11T09:52:00.000-08:00

But do they quack when you walk? Inquiring minds ...

Click here.

My new extra appendage. Totally.

2009-11-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

Who the frak thinks of these things? Really?

Click here.

My new fork in the road. Totally.

2009-11-04T16:12:00.001-08:00

OK, it's technically between the roads, but close enough. Of course, it could mean that California's done, stick a fork in it ...

Click here.

My new whoopsy-daisy house. Totally.

2009-10-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

If you think you're already living in an upside-down world these days, this little domicile might be just the ticket ...

Click here.

My new fixer-upper. Totally.

2009-10-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

Over half a million bucks for an abandoned house. California dreamin' is alive and well...

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My new scream out loud. Totally.

2009-10-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

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My new hole in the ground. Totally.

2009-10-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Can't say much for the view, but the neighbors seem quiet.

Click here.

My new battery-operated friend. Totally.

2009-10-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

I so totally want this. Don't judge me.

Click here.

My new impenetrable fortress. Totally.

2009-09-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

Now I just have to acquire a lot of stuff people would want to steal. I'm afraid my old "Buffy" screeners, as awesome as they are, just don't count.

Click here.

My new bed dress. Totally.

2009-09-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

Lends a new meaning to hanging around in bed.

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My new giant lips-head. Totally.

2009-09-21T14:58:00.001-07:00

Yeah, you read that headline and couldn't resist, right? Without further ado ...

Click here.

My new pretty blue ice cube. Totally.

2009-09-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

I keep wondering where you put your stuff. Only people who don't have stuff buy these houses, I guess, or at least people who have stuff that isn't blue, white or taupe.

Click here.

My new self-defense method. Totally.

2009-09-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

These are for Payless? They'll have to issue helmets and elbow pads the first day the shoes arrive to protect the people trying them on. Anyone, though, who winds up facing the business end of one of those heels should just run like thunder.

http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/09/christian_sirianos_shoes.html

My new little blue castle. Totally.

2009-09-08T18:04:00.000-07:00

But where's the pink unicorn and the green dragon?

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/09/new_to_market_powder_blue_flip_in_south_la.php

My new cottage on the hill. Totally.

2009-09-02T20:40:00.001-07:00

I wuv it. I weally weally do. It makes me want a puppy and a bunny and a Sunday bwunch in the backyard with fwesh-squeezed orange juice and poppyseed mwuffins.

OK, I want those now -- though maybe not the bunny and the puppy at the same time.

http://www.underculver.com/2009/09/middle-of-nowhere-too-cute-is-ugly.html

My new air-conditioned pants. Totally.

2009-09-02T15:34:00.001-07:00

The only thing sillier than this is hanging your pants below your butt so your underwear shows and you have to walk like an arthritic duck because the crotch is around your knees. (Thankfully, someone has addressed at least the underwear part of this unfortunate trend)

http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/09/jeans_now_come_in_see-through.html

My new ill-gotten gains. Totally.

2009-09-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

Want to vacation like notorious swindler Bernie Madoff? Here's your big chance, and, as a bonus, you can funnel some cash back to his victims.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/laland/2009/09/hot-property-madoffs-summer-digs-are-for-sale.html

My new garden in the sky. Totally.

2009-08-28T13:25:00.001-07:00

I wouldn't stand next to this building during watering, but other than that, I like it. I like it a lot. (embedded link this time, for whatever reason, wouldn't work when I pasted it in)

My new non-footprinty warehouse. Totally.

2009-08-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

I could even park my hybrid -- if I had a hybrid, that is. Of course, it's built where a homeless shelter used to be and costs almost $10 grand to rent, but hey, it's carbon neutral!

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/rentcheck_carbon_neutral_in_venice.php

My new icky green windowless box. Totally.

2009-08-26T23:50:00.000-07:00

The boarded-up kitchen window is just the cherry on top.

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/thats_rather_hideous_windowless_in_south_la.php

My new enchanted cottage. Totally.

2009-08-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

It's so cute, I want to hug it and kiss it and call it George! Sorry, misspent youth watching too many "Looney Tunes."

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/laland/2009/08/hot-property-record-producer-lists-calabasas-home.html

My new bargain-basement uber-French screening room. Totally.

2009-08-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

OK, I know this decor cost a lot of money, but I keep thinking there's only one kind of movie appropriate for this screening room, and it ain't "Bambi."

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/pricechopper_big_french_chateau_slims_down.php

My new really white room. Totally.

2009-08-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

The "Casablanca" scene on the TV is a nice touch, but why aren't the chairs looking out at that pretty sky? What is the view from this condo? Also, one of the commenters says this development doesn't have a pool. Uh, SoCal, much?

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/week_in_review_westfield_culver_city_soho_house_in_weho_a_house_in_a_pool_gays_in_the_oc.php

My new pretty house, pretty sky, pretty lights on pretty hedge. Totally.

2009-08-20T18:26:00.001-07:00

Apparently there are also " coved ceilings, small-pane windows and two fireplaces. A walled brick courtyard, a spa and mature fruit trees are among the outdoor features."

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/laland/2009/08/hot-property-producers-list-hollywood-hills-home.html

I really want this one. No, really. Totally! I only need, like, $1,195,000. Passing the hat in the morning.

Need more convincing? Here are more pretty pictures.

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/new_to_market_olde_english_homestead_in_the_hollywood_hills.php

My new cool wavy driveway. Totally.

2009-08-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

Not to mention, my new fuzzy white rug and my new bed-is-a-box. Totally.

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/new_to_market_swanky_midcentury_in_studio_city.php

My new school. Totally.

2009-08-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

At least that's what they say it is. Looks like an abandoned shipping container that mated with an air-conditioner grille to me, but what do I know?

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/pugh_scarpa_green_dot_school_for_lennox.php

My new boots that have their own coats. Totally.

2009-08-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

All I can say is, your legs will never be cold again.

http://la.racked.com/archives/2009/08/17/email_scan.php

My new rectilinear house. Totally.

2009-08-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

I'm a little worried, though, that I'd hurt myself on some of those sharp corners, and I'd totally have to have a secret room for my smooshy recliner, Snuggie and other non-rectilinear stuff (which totally includes me).

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/new_to_market_la_lifestyle_awaits_you_on_doheny.php

My new really tall boots. Totally.

2009-08-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, I think these would go up to places I'd rather boots didn't go, but for the leggy chicks out there without swollen ankles or knee issues, go for it!

http://agirlsguidetoshoes.blogspot.com/2009/08/over-knee-boots-are-you-in-or-are-you.html

My new fixer-upper. Totally.

2009-08-13T20:47:00.001-07:00

It either looks like building blocks or a really badly designed dental bridge -- with windows.

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/_builders_banks_hired_kachay.php

My new froggy phone, etc. Totally.

2009-08-12T08:50:00.001-07:00

This just felt so right, what with Lady Gaga's Kermit coat link the other day. And behold ye an endangered species, the landline of any kind, cool or not. Now, who's going to make the first Kermit cellphone?

http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/08/novelty-phones/

My new ball. Totally.

2009-08-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

What did you think I meant? What can I say -- I love tea! Time to put the kettle on...

http://ncmagteawithfriends.blogspot.com/2009/08/having-ball-with-tea.html

My new tea house. Totally.

2009-08-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

And when I'm done having tea in it, I'll just use it as a loofah.

http://besthousedesign.blogspot.com/2009/07/balsa-dome-tea-houses-on-display-in.html

My new elephant hair. Totally.

2009-08-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

GOP ladies, you KNOW you want this for the next RNC convention! Beats those Cat-in-the-Hat hats any day.

And please, please, click on the Kermit coat link. It's not easy being green!

http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/08/lady_gagas_hair_elephant_sugge.html

My new big silver hangy thing and some cows. Totally.

2009-08-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

My question is, do these people have a burger fetish? Cow pictures AND a Bob's Big Boy? And I won't even mention the coffee table (or that freaky clown cookie jar in the kitchen).

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/rentchopper_hollywood_hills_buff_hensman_reduced.php

My new big glass box. Totally.

2009-08-10T17:25:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness, it looks like there are blinds, because curtains or Roman shades would push this big glass-and-white box well back up over a cool million. Kitchen island freaks me out though, that jagged granite edge seems custom-made for a very bad scene in a chase thriller.

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/pricechopper_woodrow_wilson_glass_house_throws_bone.php

My new home-buying wish list. Totally.

2009-08-09T18:09:00.000-07:00

And I live or have lived near two of them and visited one . Totally.

http://gawno.com/2009/06/55-strange-buildings-of-the-world/

My new, yeah, not too sure what that is, actually. Totally.

2009-08-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2009/08/friday_morning_linkage_49.php