My new reason to watch 'Dirty Jobs.' Totally.

Sure, the guys that Mike Rowe works with on Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs" are often grimy, sweaty and dusty, and usually sport plaid, denim, grubby T-shirts, hazmat suits and steel-toed workboots, but at least I know what gender they are.

And they won't borrow grandma's corset.

Click here to see some, er, guys who already have.

My new tuxedo spaceman. Totally.

That's not even mentioning the leather swizzle stick and the middle dude with the silly hat and lemon-meringue jacket. I officially give up. Real men, three names: Dockers, Carhartt, LL. Bean. These are your new best friends.

Click here.

My new boyfriends. Totally. (Not)

Do these designers want to end the human race? No sensible woman would propagate with these men.

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My new roofy-blocky house-y thing. Totally.

At least the price has come down -- it's cheaper than some Culver City condos. But it's as-is, and there are no interior pictures. Maybe there's no interior. Maybe the old owners took it. I've seen it happen.

Click here.

My new reason why men will stay single. Totally.

Really, would any woman go near these guys? Especially the dude on the end with the leather armor -- give him a horse and a sword and he could conquer the sporting-goods department.

Gack.

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My new purple passion pit. Totally.

The Grape Ape could have such monkeyshines!

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