My new Sunday paper. Totally.

Now, THAT's news you can use.

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My new Gizmo-head chastity skirt. Totally.

Yeah, nobody's coming near her with THAT there.

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My new duck feet. Totally.

But do they quack when you walk? Inquiring minds ...

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My new extra appendage. Totally.

Who the frak thinks of these things? Really?

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My new fork in the road. Totally.

OK, it's technically between the roads, but close enough. Of course, it could mean that California's done, stick a fork in it ...

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My new whoopsy-daisy house. Totally.

If you think you're already living in an upside-down world these days, this little domicile might be just the ticket ...

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My new fixer-upper. Totally.

Over half a million bucks for an abandoned house. California dreamin' is alive and well...

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