My new pointy-headed busybodies. Totally.

And the next thing you know, they'll decide that large garages are unsightly, and everyone will have to engage car services (only black limos, no stretch, well-polished, drivers in uniforms, WITH hats) ...

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My noo shooz/pet ... totally

Lends a whole new meaning to the phrase "on little cat feet" ...

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My new favorite dress. Totally.

At least I'd get the value out of those fancy panties!

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My new half-million-dollar flophouse. Totally.

Now that's what I call a fixer-upper. Does all the trash come in the price?

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My new ridonkulous giant hand house. Totally.

I don't think it's real. I hope it's not real.

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My new half-bath. Totally.

I. Don't. Even. Want. To. Know.

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My new weekend place. Totally.

The French Chateau-inspired Batcheller Mansion (with a minaret) is also a functioning bed-and-breakfast, so I can have all my friends over.

Cheap at twice the price!

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