My new pyramid. Totally.

Chill like an Egyptian ... or a tasteless show-off. Your call.

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My new beach shack. Totally.

What, you don't have shacks like this?

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My new tree house. Totally.

I can't decide whether I like it or whether it's just a nicely furnished fish tank. Little bummed that it's not actually a tree house, though ...

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My new lots of battery-operated friends. Totally.

Rock-star hamsters, hedgehogs, skunks, chipmunks, squirrels, bunnies and raccoons, oh, my! If I couldn't talk somebody into buying me a regular Zhu Zhu hamster, NOW what do I do?

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(PS: The only thing weirder than being an adult who wants a battery-operated hamster is buying one for yourself. So there. Don't judge me.)

My new tails. Totally.

Multiple raccoon tails are one thing, but attached to a plaid man-dress? Honestly, they look more like giant woolly bear caterpillars.

Ewww.

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My new relatively cheap Frank Lloyd Wright fortress. Totally.

It's historic. It's designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. It looks like you could hold off invaders with a couple of buckets of hot oil and a squad of archers. Who wouldn't want a piece of that?

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My new $2,000 trash bags. Totally.

So, what's to stop me from taking a Hefty bag, a stencil and going to town?

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